Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
