i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
