Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize