You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
