So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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