Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(623): View more from Arizona

just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"

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(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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(516): View more from New York

And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.

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(419): View more from Ohio

i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.

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(773): View more from Illinois

They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck

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(404): View more from Georgia

I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.

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