And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
