Pregnant stripper...not hot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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