Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
