i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
