Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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