He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
