i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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