do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
