he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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