I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
