My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
