I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
