Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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