One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
