the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Boobs are out for the taking
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
