Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What a dumb baby whore.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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