i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
