Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
