We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
