do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
God, you're like boner-b-gone
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
