so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How does one acquire holy water?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
