My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
