just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
