god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
