do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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