everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
