I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
