All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
