Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
