i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
