the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
