Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
