Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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