If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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