She is in my trunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
