haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
