why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
