and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we should paint friendship bongs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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