p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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