You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
bring money and cleavage
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
