OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
