I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
