So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
