i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
