this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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